To My Big Girl

My big girl,

Three weeks ago we started swimming lessons and you cannot WAIT to go back again each week. You might be part fish. The only time you cry is when it was time to get out of the pool.

When we picked your dad up from the train station after the first lesson, you excitedly told him about how you floated, kicked your legs, played Humpty Dumpty, and went under the water. You had so many favourite parts.

My favourite part? Spending the better part of an hour together, just me and you.

The past six months have been an adjustment. We spent 2 years and 2 months (and 2 weeks) as a family of three and you had both your dad’s and my undivided attention (disregarding work and events, etc). Then, one night, we brought your sweet little baby brother home and we all had to learn how to function as a family of four.

The sleepless nights have been hard, adjusting to breastfeeding and essentially becoming  an on-demand food truck again was hard, but learning how to divide my time equally between two children was hardest. Especially when one was pretty dependent on your dad and I for the first few months of his life.

You mainly protested the situation by asking to be picked up more and deciding to no longer use the potty, so thank you for not throwing wild tantrums.

And thank you for showering him with kisses and hugs, for calling him pet names like ‘little fella’, ‘Jack-a-mo-mo’, and ‘my love’. Thank you for trying to share with him, even though I know that’s a hard one when all he wants to do is eat your toys.

We’ve only had a few weeks of swimming lessons and next session you likely won’t need me in the pool with you, but I’ve had so much fun with you. You cuddle up next to me while we wait for our instructor. You hold my hand as we walk to the water. You smile excitedly when it’s time to slip in. You don’t like completely submerging under the water but you hold your breath and squeeze your eyes shut tight anyway when it’s time to go under. You’re my brave girl. When our half hour is over, you wrap yourself around me until you’re warm and dry. Then we walk to the car, hand in hand, while you talk about going swimming again next week.

Now that your brother is a bit older it’s going to be easier for us to spend more time together. I’ll take you to your lessons and activities and we can go for lunch after. I wonder how much time we’ll have in that bubble before you’d rather spend that time with your brother, or the friends you’ll make at school.

For now, my big girl, I look forward to our Thursday mornings together, just you and me.

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